sheepshepherdess: Esophageal Cancer

GreenDay

The lead singer's dad died from esophageal cancer....

Billie Joe Armstrong was born in Oakland, California and was raised in Rodeo, California, as the youngest of six children.^[1] His father, Andy Armstrong,^[1] worked as a jazz musician and truck driver for Safeway to support the family. He died of esophageal cancer on September 10, 1982 when Armstrong was 10.^[1] The song "Wake Me Up When September Ends" is a memorial to his father. He has five older siblings: David, Alan, Marci, Hollie, and Anna. His mother Ollie worked at Rod's Hickory Pit.^[1]Armstrong and Mike Dirnt got their first gig at Rod's Hickory Pit during their early years.

Meaning
There once was much debate about what the song was about, one of the most common initial beliefs being that it is about the events of 9/11. In the liner notes, the song is dated September 10, and it is track 11 on the album. However, Billie Joe Armstrong has confirmed to the public that the song was written as a memorial anthem about his father, a jazz musician and minor league baseball catcher, who died of esophageal cancer when Armstrong was only ten years old (1982). ^[1]
In this ballad, Armstrong revisits his painful childhood and thinks about the day he lost his innocence when his father died. Like many faced with such a traumatic event, he never truly recovered, and he cannot believe that twenty years have passed since that September day, thus the lyrics Like my father's come to pass, twenty years has gone so fast. Armstrong associates September with pain; he would rather not deal with anything related to the month, prompting him to sing, As my memory rests / But never forgets what I lost / Wake me up when September ends

"Wake Me Up When September Ends"

Summer has come and passed
The innocent can never last
wake me up when September ends

like my father's come to pass
seven years has gone so fast
wake me up when September ends

here comes the rain again
falling from the stars
drenched in my pain again
becoming who we are

as my memory rests
but never forgets what I lost
wake me up when September ends

summer has come and passed
the innocent can never last
wake me up when September ends

ring out the bells again
like we did when spring began
wake me up when September ends

here comes the rain again
falling from the stars
drenched in my pain again
becoming who we are

as my memory rests
but never forgets what I lost
wake me up when September ends

Summer has come and passed
The innocent can never last
wake me up when September ends

like my father's come to pass
twenty years has gone so fast
wake me up when September ends
wake me up when September ends
wake me up when September ends

Posted at 11:19 PM in Esophageal Cancer | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

I Year ago Today

Some times I think things have gone so slow other times I don't know where time went....

I know my losses are to great for most to imagine unless they have had their walls crumble down before them. I can probably write a book of what not to do, and I still am trying to figure out what to do.I know I had to go through what I have had to endure to get where I am now.

I have cried more than I could have ever imagined was possible, I have missed some one more than most people will never have to comprehend . I have grown in many ways and will continue to find my new path.

I knew true love , compassion, patience , and most of all I know I had a soul mate, lover,husband and a friend most of all....

Last Year click here

Tribute to a loving Husband and incredible man.... I LOVE YOU CHRIS....

Hiking in Montana The Hilgard Basin

Snow Camping in the Sierra's

Soaking in the Sierraville hot springs.

Chris in Mendocino Our favorite place.

Camping on the Yuba.

Chris holding Josh wearing his Mother Hips T shirt one of his favorite local bands

Wedding In Mendocino.

what Chris Lived for Family.

The Man He Became...

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What do you do with this Blog....

I started this Blog July 27 2006. I never knew where life was going to take me at the time. I can't say it has been what I thought it was going to be , or what I wanted it to be, but it is.

I started this blog with the intention of conversing with fiber artists and was very happy sharing my work. Little did I know in July 06 that my husband was going to come down with some rare cancer with only a 3 % chance of living.

Well here I am muttling my way through life.

My first love since I can remember has been photography so it really seems natural right now to focus on that aspect of my life right now as I can no longer concentrate to knit nor do I have the desire to spin as that requires sitting still something I had a problem with when I did have a husband.

So with that said I will be focusing on photography. Mt thoughts are a picture a day with a small caption since writing has never been my strong point.

The digital imaging class that I have been taking has proved to be an inspiration and a great way to learn to use photoshop in a more proficient way.

Class assignment... Triptych.

The top of Mt. Disney on a beautiful day... Taken with my digital Elph, by Canon of course... The perfect camera to put in your jacket pocket for times like this.

Sugar Bowl... Extreme powder day. Josh and I headed up Mt. Lincoln. 8300 ft and my favorite spot on the hill.

Posted at 06:07 AM in Esophageal Cancer | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBack (0)

Therapy

I tried a therapist for a couple of visits, I figure this is the big stuff. Well it is not going to work. I will save my $60.00 a month co-pay for a Starbucks white mocha and a Mother Earth News, or better yet a chapter in John or Romans. My therapy has been the South Fork Yuba where I have been spending any spare time hiking and swimming.

Todays therapy..... A long hike, beautiful scenery, only the sound of pounding water, rocks for a couch, water for cleansing and cooling. Cost priceless, outcome peace and comfort.

Posted at 12:13 AM in Esophageal Cancer | Permalink | Comments (3) | TrackBack (0)

The Finality

This has been hard to post. Before I am critisized I will include a link to my inspiration. http://www.pulitzer.org/year/2007/feature-photography/works/ It has been hard to look back at what I had and look ahead to what I have lost. The following photos are of the service they were not taken by me obviously as I am in some of the photo's.

Chris singing "On Jordons Stormy Banks"

Graveside with Chris's father, my two younger sons, and our Pastor Bill.

Flag folding by the honor guard.

Flag presentation that was all to familiar as I was with my mom four years ago when she was presented with a flag upon my fathers death.

The following photos were taken 48 hours before my husbands death. My son had his eagle court of honor, it was video taped so my husband was able to watch it with him.

Sean presenting his dad with the fathers pin.

Chris and Brandon.

Eagle Scout !!!!!!

Posted at 11:33 PM in Esophageal Cancer | Permalink | Comments (4) | TrackBack (0)

In Memory

It is sad that this would be my 100th post I sure imagined it would have been different when I started this blog. My life forever changed, my heart broken and lonely.

Chris October 13, 1971- May 19, 2008

John 14:1

‘Do not let your hearts be troubled. Believe in God, believe also in me. In my Father’s house there are many dwelling-places. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, so that where I am, there you may be also. And you know the way to the place where I am going. Thomas said to him, ‘Lord, we do not know where you are going. How can we know the way?' Jesus said to him, ‘I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. If you know me, you will know my Father also. From now on you do know him and have seen him.’

Posted at 09:22 AM in Esophageal Cancer | Permalink | Comments (13) | TrackBack (0)

In Retrospect

It has been one year since the diagnosis of esophageal cancer. Here is our year in retrospect. Starting March 1, 2007 when Chris went in to see the G.P. May 4 after a long battle trying to get some one to listen about the increaed difficulty in swallowing he was diagnosed with cancer. Yes cancer can happen to young people!!! even if the Dr. says no way you can have cancer as we were told April 11.

All photos can be clicked on for a better view

March

April

Nalgene has since removed all bottles with BPA's from the market.

May

Chris at the yurt near Point Reyes Station.

June

Chris and Josh at Mc Clures beach in Point Reyes.

July

John John and Chris down at the lake.

August

Nevada County Fair.

September

In the Garden here at home.

October

Chris' birthday 36

November

Empire Mine Grass Valley

December

Making Gingerbread houses.

January

Chris helping train Rusty. Get those sheep off the fence!!!

February

Yankee Jims at the American River.

March

Chris with Brandon.

April

Chris consoling Brandon in sadness. Kids want to know why.

May

Chris teaching Josh to make North Dakota sticky Cinnamon rolls.

John 3: 16

"For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son that whoever believes in Him should not parish but have everlasting life.

Posted at 10:21 AM in Esophageal Cancer | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0)

Bread in the oven

We fired the oven up for bread!!! We preheated the oven on Thursday night then Friday all day we kept a fire burning, by 4 pm we had pizza in the oven after the pizza we cleaned out the wood and coals and placed the door in position to let he heat even out, about an hour later we baked 5 loaves of wonderful sourdough bread. My daughter had made the starter about a year ago with the grapes from the ranch.

Chelsea putting a county loaf in the oven