sheepshepherdess

Missing What I Can't Have...

I have really been missing Chris... I think the summer really hits hard with every one doing family things, and it is just me and the boys.  I am sure the heat does not help and the increase in work around the yard and still waiting on the kitchen remodel as in the cabinets have been ordered and are being made.  I did get my wine refriderator 46 bottles at the perfect temperature.  I hope to be adding to my collection next week as I will be in the Napa Valley for a couple days.

2 years ago July ....

John John and his daddy...

Chelsea and her daddy...

Chris snoozing on Glass Beach Mendocino...

What I miss most my friend, my soul mate, We were PERFECT... I still have a hard time figuring out what happened.  I loved him, he was young, his boys needed him...I needed him, I wanted our dreams and I wanted to grow old with him... How is all this fair?

Peace at Last....

His life reminds me of Marilyn Monroe.... a victim of society and expectations.

Fathers Day

Chris on Mt.Tam the last trip we took together....

Things that make me cry...

Weed eating!!! I hate weed eating, it is dirty, it is miserable, I know I will have to do it over and over in the same place for the next few months. Then there is burning the burn piles from the pruning's.  Living on 10 acres there is constant yard maintenance .  It is the one thing that makes me wonder how I can live here.  I made the choice to stay here by doing a huge remodel, at least for now.  I read a poem that was sent to me by a friend, Chris F. who lost his wife a year before I lost my husband. I have been trying to come out on the other side, and not give up even though it seems never ending.

I really like this poem and have read it often.

NEVER GIVE UP! One day a young lady was driving along with her father.  They came upon a storm. The young lady asked her father what should she do, he said "keep driving".  Cars began to pull over to the side, the storm was getting worse.  What should I do the young lady asked, "keep driving" her father replied.  On up a few feet she noticed eighteen wheelers were pulling over also.  She told her dad, I must pull over I can barely see ahead.  It is terrible out here everyone is pulling over.  Her fathers told her not to give up just keep driving. Now the storm was terrible but she never stopped driving and soon she could see a little clearer. After a couple of miles she was on dry land and the sun was out.  Her father said now pulls over and get out. She said "but why now?"   He said "get out look back, at all the people that gave up and are still in the storm".  You never gave up and now your storm is over. I thought this was a testimony for anyone of you that is going through something.  Just because everyone else, even the ones that appear to be the largest and strongest gives up.  You don't have to, because if you keep going, on up ahead your storm will soon be over and the sun will shine upon your face again.   I hope this touched someone because it did me. Pass it on to someone who you know is going through or all of your on-line friends.   Tell them to never give up, because GOD will never give up on them.  He has the last say so. Feels like a never ending job..... My house project continues and will not be complete till August around the first of the month if all goes well.  The kitchen will be the next phase.  I have been doing all the painting inside, it has been good for me. Old Look. New Look New Look. Old Look Outside. Painters working on the new look. Isaiah my painter Thank You...  Really love this song for all the cheating men out there.... Thank You Carrie Underwood.